Life is not always easy, simple, or fair. This world is challenging, confusing, tempting, and secular.
And I'm not perfect. Sometimes I am a drama queen. Sometimes I swear. Sometimes I'm selfish. Sometimes I make bad decisions. Sometimes I don't act my age. Sometimes I am ungracious and unkind. Sometimes I say things I don't mean, or things I do mean that shouldn't be said out loud. Sometimes I enjoy gossip and contribute to it. Sometimes I am a coward. I am guilty of all of this and more. I am never perfect. I am never deserving. But somehow I am always forgiven and my account always reads: full.
Your grace is enough. If it weren't, I would have screwed it all up a long time go.
"Self destruction is one of my spiritual gifts."- Lon Solomon
[Footnote: This message is one of a 4-part series that came to me on a Sunday afternoon when I didn't even know how desperately I needed to hear it. I'm glad to have access to a streaming video version of it to hear again today, when I desperately need it again. Thank You.]
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
Recovering Type-A
Every year around this time my back-to-school brain kicks in and I get uber type-A on life again.
What?
Yes, at one point in my life (aka the 6 years of undergrad and grad school), I considered myself a type-A personality. Just 2 years later, I am convinced that was just a phase. I have become notoriously neglectful of some pretty important priorities, responsibilities, and goals that at one point I would have never ever dreamed of flaking out on.
Let's just say a Ph.D. is not in my future.
But every year summer comes and goes, and even though I am not lacing up my school-shoes anymore these days, with the start of a new school year comes Amanda's Annual Reorganization of Life.
This year will be an epic one.
For some reason, the promise of fall still brings on the feeling of a fresh start and a clean slate for me. I used to tell myself at the beginning of a new semester that I was starting out with a 4.0- all I had to do was maintain it. As an adult, post-grad. Sometimes I still try to take on that mentality.
I've spent the last week doing some major purging. The new shredder at the office has certainly been broken in, thanks to me. I had IFSPs in there from last year... kids I discharged just prior to our wedding. For shame! I've shredded and purged and re-organized my work-life. Up-next: the daunting task of re-organizing our little abode. This is going to take some serious mental preparations, but I'm determined that we are going to git-r-done and soon. Priorities. I'd like to have it all done by mid-October. Goals.
Wish me luck in this endeavor. We've got about 1500 square feet of crap crammed into 729 square feet and 2 closets. I'm going to need positive vibes, the power of prayer, some meditation, and a few bottles of wine to get me through this one. But it's that time of year and I'm motivated.
Sidenote: the urge to purge isn't the only thing signifying the change of the seasons. IT'S OKTOBERFEST TIME, YA'LL!
What?
Yes, at one point in my life (aka the 6 years of undergrad and grad school), I considered myself a type-A personality. Just 2 years later, I am convinced that was just a phase. I have become notoriously neglectful of some pretty important priorities, responsibilities, and goals that at one point I would have never ever dreamed of flaking out on.
Let's just say a Ph.D. is not in my future.
But every year summer comes and goes, and even though I am not lacing up my school-shoes anymore these days, with the start of a new school year comes Amanda's Annual Reorganization of Life.
This year will be an epic one.
For some reason, the promise of fall still brings on the feeling of a fresh start and a clean slate for me. I used to tell myself at the beginning of a new semester that I was starting out with a 4.0- all I had to do was maintain it. As an adult, post-grad. Sometimes I still try to take on that mentality.
I've spent the last week doing some major purging. The new shredder at the office has certainly been broken in, thanks to me. I had IFSPs in there from last year... kids I discharged just prior to our wedding. For shame! I've shredded and purged and re-organized my work-life. Up-next: the daunting task of re-organizing our little abode. This is going to take some serious mental preparations, but I'm determined that we are going to git-r-done and soon. Priorities. I'd like to have it all done by mid-October. Goals.
Wish me luck in this endeavor. We've got about 1500 square feet of crap crammed into 729 square feet and 2 closets. I'm going to need positive vibes, the power of prayer, some meditation, and a few bottles of wine to get me through this one. But it's that time of year and I'm motivated.
Sidenote: the urge to purge isn't the only thing signifying the change of the seasons. IT'S OKTOBERFEST TIME, YA'LL!
 |
| Heaven in a bottle. Behold. |
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Lazy Weather Day
I'm in heaven. By some freak coincidence of cancellations I have 2 kids to see today... and the first one isn't until noon! It is now 10:10 am and what have I done today?
-Hit snooze half a dozen times until I reset my alarm. Why get up early? This gloomy rainy weather practically demands that I sleep in as long as I want. I am all caught up on work and have nothing demanding my attention, so why not?
-Woke up again before my alarm. Also by some freak coincidence, I got in bed before midnight last night. Not just before midnight, but before 11! Of all the days I can sleep to my heart's content, I woke up completely rested and ready to start the day at 9 am (after initially waking up at 7 out of habit). Thats still 2 hours of extra sleep so I can't really complain.
-Made a pot o' coffee. The poor ole Cuisinart has been pretty neglected lately, for a few reasons. Namely, I am no longer dependent on the bean to get my day rolling. Don't get me wrong, I certainly enjoy a hot cuppa joe any time of day but thanks to a little vitamin b12- coffee is no longer required. I also think part of my independence is the fact that I am no longer motivated enough to get out of bed 15 minutes earlier to brew it and I can never seem to remember to set it up with a timer to autobrew in the morning.
-Watched fun morning talk shows. Oh Kelly (and Michael?) and Rachael Ray- how I've missed you since my college days.
-House Hunted... things are looking up (a little) which makes me excited. There are a few detached SFHs in Arlington, a row in Alexandria, and a little bit of everything in Fall's Church. So maybe this weekend we'll do some investigating and go see a few. How do I try not to get my hopes up this time around but also have faith that there is a home out there waiting for us? Pray for us!
Things I haven't done this morning:
-Gotten dressed
-Brushed my teeth
-Walked Lucille (she is starting to "hound" me- bahaha get it?)
-Given a crap about being lazy.
For the rest of the morning I am planning on lounging, pinteresting, gchatting, showering, and then of course taking out the pooch and going to see my 2 little friends. Maybe by the time I get home, I will be motivated to hit the gym, make something delish (and obviously suitable for this gloomy weather) for dinner.
When can I start working part time and have this schedule every day?
-Hit snooze half a dozen times until I reset my alarm. Why get up early? This gloomy rainy weather practically demands that I sleep in as long as I want. I am all caught up on work and have nothing demanding my attention, so why not?
-Woke up again before my alarm. Also by some freak coincidence, I got in bed before midnight last night. Not just before midnight, but before 11! Of all the days I can sleep to my heart's content, I woke up completely rested and ready to start the day at 9 am (after initially waking up at 7 out of habit). Thats still 2 hours of extra sleep so I can't really complain.
-Made a pot o' coffee. The poor ole Cuisinart has been pretty neglected lately, for a few reasons. Namely, I am no longer dependent on the bean to get my day rolling. Don't get me wrong, I certainly enjoy a hot cuppa joe any time of day but thanks to a little vitamin b12- coffee is no longer required. I also think part of my independence is the fact that I am no longer motivated enough to get out of bed 15 minutes earlier to brew it and I can never seem to remember to set it up with a timer to autobrew in the morning.
-Watched fun morning talk shows. Oh Kelly (and Michael?) and Rachael Ray- how I've missed you since my college days.
-House Hunted... things are looking up (a little) which makes me excited. There are a few detached SFHs in Arlington, a row in Alexandria, and a little bit of everything in Fall's Church. So maybe this weekend we'll do some investigating and go see a few. How do I try not to get my hopes up this time around but also have faith that there is a home out there waiting for us? Pray for us!
Things I haven't done this morning:
-Gotten dressed
-Brushed my teeth
-Walked Lucille (she is starting to "hound" me- bahaha get it?)
-Given a crap about being lazy.
For the rest of the morning I am planning on lounging, pinteresting, gchatting, showering, and then of course taking out the pooch and going to see my 2 little friends. Maybe by the time I get home, I will be motivated to hit the gym, make something delish (and obviously suitable for this gloomy weather) for dinner.
When can I start working part time and have this schedule every day?
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Peace
Since the beginning of summer it has seemed a lot like life has been happening around me. There were moments where I just felt at the mercy of what was going on around me. Don't get me wrong, there were many wonderful days and celebrations- but there were lots of days where it seemed like I was just getting by a day at a time. Fortunately for me, summer culminated in an indescribably, much needed 10-day get away, complete with a week to the outer banks (a yearly tradition that has been missed for the last 2 years) and celebrating my Momma's 51st birthday.
The only word I can use to adequately describe our week at the beach with my in-laws is peace. I felt completely at peace. No house-hunting, no appointments, no (very little) work. I slept in, I ran (!!), I walked, I ate (a lot), I sat my butt in a chair everyday and read and tanned. I spent an entire week of uninterrupted time with my favorite person on earth and my pretty awesome in-laws. I am feeling so re-charged and ready for the next 2 months of work before my next, much shorter break.
I'm looking so forward to finding a house again. I was getting so frustrated searching everyday, multiple times a day. I know we are moving into the slow season as far as purchasing real estate is concerned, but right now I am just looking forward to buying a home and filling it with lots of wedding pictures-which remain in digital form only, wedding gifts- which remain stowed away at mine and T's parents, memories and traditions, and someday soon, a family.
I'm looking forward to doing some more running. T and I are planning to run the Wounded Warriors Project Race Around The Lake. Its a short- 4.7 mi- race that I think will suit us well right now, considering that we haven't considered ourselves runners since last October's Army 10 miler. I'm really looking forward to this race because I'm confident I can conquer this distance after almost a year off and because the Wounded Warriors Project has done so much for Tory's family in the last 2 years. Maybe this race will become a yearly staple for us and will help to prepare us for future ATMs that we plan on conquering starting again next year.
I'm looking very forward to seeing family again this fall and celebrating my cousin's marriage. I'm really excited for the temps to drop a little and to start feeling the warm and fuzzies of fall and the Holidays waiting just around the corner. With any luck, we'll have a house of our own to decorate for Christmas.
Clearly tonight, I am feeling so at peace with life- even with the impending 10 hour work day ahead of me tomorrow. I am feeling ready to take on the world. I can not believe how severely I underestimated my need for a break from life, work, and responsibilities. I will never ever let myself or my family go 9 months without a break ever again.
Goodbye Summer, I'm welcoming this new season with open arms and a big, joyful smile.
The only word I can use to adequately describe our week at the beach with my in-laws is peace. I felt completely at peace. No house-hunting, no appointments, no (very little) work. I slept in, I ran (!!), I walked, I ate (a lot), I sat my butt in a chair everyday and read and tanned. I spent an entire week of uninterrupted time with my favorite person on earth and my pretty awesome in-laws. I am feeling so re-charged and ready for the next 2 months of work before my next, much shorter break.
I'm looking so forward to finding a house again. I was getting so frustrated searching everyday, multiple times a day. I know we are moving into the slow season as far as purchasing real estate is concerned, but right now I am just looking forward to buying a home and filling it with lots of wedding pictures-which remain in digital form only, wedding gifts- which remain stowed away at mine and T's parents, memories and traditions, and someday soon, a family.
I'm looking forward to doing some more running. T and I are planning to run the Wounded Warriors Project Race Around The Lake. Its a short- 4.7 mi- race that I think will suit us well right now, considering that we haven't considered ourselves runners since last October's Army 10 miler. I'm really looking forward to this race because I'm confident I can conquer this distance after almost a year off and because the Wounded Warriors Project has done so much for Tory's family in the last 2 years. Maybe this race will become a yearly staple for us and will help to prepare us for future ATMs that we plan on conquering starting again next year.
I'm looking very forward to seeing family again this fall and celebrating my cousin's marriage. I'm really excited for the temps to drop a little and to start feeling the warm and fuzzies of fall and the Holidays waiting just around the corner. With any luck, we'll have a house of our own to decorate for Christmas.
Clearly tonight, I am feeling so at peace with life- even with the impending 10 hour work day ahead of me tomorrow. I am feeling ready to take on the world. I can not believe how severely I underestimated my need for a break from life, work, and responsibilities. I will never ever let myself or my family go 9 months without a break ever again.
Goodbye Summer, I'm welcoming this new season with open arms and a big, joyful smile.
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