I'm cranky. I am completely beat, exhausted, thoroughly WIPED OUT. Not sleeping for the past 6 years has finally taken its toll on me. I'm bored. with everything. I am not living and I'm not growing anymore. I got too comfortable and now I'm stuck and I'm bored and I'm disappointed in myself. I have let the daily grind steal my joy and I am no longer feeling empowered or impassioned towards much of anything including many of my relationships, hobbies, and worst of all, the career I have spent the past 6 years in school working towards. It hasn't even started yet and I'm already over it. My creativity is in the pits. I can't even write a page-long progress note because my brain can't generate the appropriate words. It's taken me 30 minutes just to write this much.
This isn't like me. It's my favorite time of year and all I can do is obsess over how unhappy I am. My whole intention of writing this blog was to emphasize the positive things in life, especially when things are crappy. But what has happened is pretty evident... I am doing my specialty.... avoidance behavior. I don't want to deal with something, I just ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist. This is not a functional, healthy, or mature way to live.
I need to get my act together.
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