Tomorrow will be my last day at The Virginian. The last day of arriving 5 minutes late but still 15 minutes earlier than my supervisor and stopping by the starbucks coffee pots for a cup of free-but-burned-beyond-recognition coffee. It will be the last morning that I fish my name badge out of Matt's desk drawer and dig my $10 walmart watch out of my messy bag before printing the day's schedule and attempting to logically plan and manage our caseload for the day. The last day of wheeling patients to the speech office and attempting to squeeze them into the tiny space behind the desk. The last 10 hour day of working for free at The Virginian.
When I think back 3 months ago to my first week at The Virginian, working under Matt's supervision, I am amazed at how much I have learned, grown, and changed as a clinician. He pretty much set me loose from the get-go with the philosophy that the best way to learn to swim is to dive right in. And dive I did, with the watchful eyes of my supervisor ensuring that I didn't drown or pull any of my patients under with me. I can remember driving home in tears every day during the first weeks of this rotation, unsure of what to make of Matt's dry, sarcastic personality and frustrated by his tendency to throw me to the wolves- aka patients and their families, with little, if any, warning, preparation, or experience.
These days I drive home from work, exhausted, after taking on the responsibility of managing a caseload and completing 7+ hours of treatment and evaluation...usually with a smile on my face. I've learned a lot about speech pathology these past few months but I've also learned a lot about myself, my abilities, my limitations, and how to work with others. That sarcastic supervisor of mine turned out to be quite a fantastic teacher and mentor and I consider myself very fortunate to have had the opportunity to learn from him. And it turns out- he's right, the best way to learn to swim is to just dive on in (and don't forget to hold your breath and close your eyes)...
It's hard to believe that tomorrow will be the end of my rotation at The Virginian. I am excited to close this chapter of my life and move one step closer to making it out there on my own. I know that my next clinical will bring me wonderful and hopefully life-changing experiences. But a very significant part is just a tiny bit heart broken over saying goodbye to Matt and the rest of the rehab staff. I've learned so much them all and am finding it very hard to wrap my head around the concept that I won't see them everyday.... many of them I'm likely to never see again. It is a sad, strange, and bittersweet feeling and I'm not sure I really want tomorrow to come right now.
On another bittersweet note: one of my favorite clips from one of the sweetest Christmas movies ever. This is possibly the most precious expression of unrequited love I have ever seen. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I'm such a girl.
No comments:
Post a Comment